Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize