hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
