his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
