I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
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My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?