Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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