i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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