hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son