oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
