im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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