And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
