these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
