you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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