Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
