I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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