You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize