All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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