so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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