Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
