I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
