What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
