i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
