Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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