totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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