Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
