i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
