i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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