I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
