the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
