Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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