i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
