So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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