I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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