I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
