Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
