Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
