I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
