McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
