dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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