they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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