Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  y did u give ur computer a hand job?

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  (734): y did u give ur computer a hand job? http://tfl.nu/nk4j
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (905)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.

  (1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  no his phone, idiot.

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  (321): Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot. (1-321): he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn. (321): no his phone, idiot. http://tfl.nu/beyf
  Replies (43) Good night (9709) Bad night (1097)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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  (859): Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in? http://tfl.nu/azmi
  Replies (8) Good night (661) Bad night (4022)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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  (256): I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics. http://tfl.nu/u31h
  Replies (25) Good night (5684) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.

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  (229): He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him. http://tfl.nu/c2pz
  Replies (12) Good night (6575) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2913) Bad night (1493)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.

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  (561): She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess. http://tfl.nu/v7az
  Replies (5) Good night (2405) Bad night (1014)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.

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  (320): In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen. http://tfl.nu/m4s0
  Replies (9) Good night (3309) Bad night (687)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

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  (810): if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch http://tfl.nu/vxbt
  Replies (15) Good night (2314) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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  (601): Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question. http://tfl.nu/eb7h
  Replies (5) Good night (2117) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class

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  (301): I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class http://tfl.nu/5zh9
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (441)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1352) Bad night (487)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.

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  (606): The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff. http://tfl.nu/i8ga
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."

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  (415): A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us." http://tfl.nu/94uv
  Replies (4) Good night (666) Bad night (337)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.

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  (540): I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being. http://tfl.nu/xpnl
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (564)

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