Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?