wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat