I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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