They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize