if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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