These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
