Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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