My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
