I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
