I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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