Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
