I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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