u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
