i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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