he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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