What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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