I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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